their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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