just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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