question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize