I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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