OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
