wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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