Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
