there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Never joke about your clitoris.
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