Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
