he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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