So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
