U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
