BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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