Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize