The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
