Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize