its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
