my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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