Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
