There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
