this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
