She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
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How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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