Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
