apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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