508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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