Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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