Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
