Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
