I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
