You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
