Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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