I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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