I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
