i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
