dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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