i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
