Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
