like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize