I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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