FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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