I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
