He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
