I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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