it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
