just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
