(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize