If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
