No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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