maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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