So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
