porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
