My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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