Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
