I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
