Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
