His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
