i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize