I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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