apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My pussy is not your playground.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
