This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
