i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My balls are so social today.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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