So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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